I’m discovering my childhood, but all to late. I’ve finally realized how wonderful and true it is to be a child, those days when all you want is to come home and play with your toys, or you’ve had a bad day at school and yer parents’ll fix you something different for dinner to make you feel better. Those are the days. And I find myself, like an old man retelling his “back in my day” stories, telling my friends my old memories, as if that’s all they were. But they weren’t just memories, because many happened just yesterday, where has my childhood gone?? It’s flown by me with this incredible rush of intensity, and all to quickly. I can remember my christmas’ when my dad used to pretend to be Santa, and I remember believing. That’s what I want, I want the innoncence of life, not the harsh realities. I keep thinking, next life Ill do my best, next life when i’m 6 years old i’ll know how special I am to be that young.. And then I think, and I know I won’t know that when I’m 6, what does a 6 year old really know?? They know not to color out of the lines, and they know that it’s a comfort to have that extra blanket, and that the monster under your bed won’t come out unless that blankets missing.
I have this lamb, named Googles (you can laugh, that’s ok, I would too.) And I got him when I was 7 for an Easter gift. I remember getting him, and I remember naming him my security. From that day, till tonight he was my security. But tonight when I laid in bed, and pulled him close, he wouldnt fit perfectly into my position, he wouldn’t stay with me in bed, he kept falling out, and I kept bringing him in. But then I realized, he doesn’t fit anymore. He won’t protect me anymore. It’s time to let the monsters come out from under my bed. I put googles in the closet and I closed the door I’ve put away my childhood.
